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Thomas Jefferson had a unique system for dealing with parts of the Bible he did not like. Historians tell us Jefferson apparently used some sharp object to cut out the passages he agreed with. Jefferson glued his chosen verses together and created what is now known as the Jefferson Bible.

Apparently the Republicans realized how advantageous this was and now have created the Republican version of the Bible. The Republican version has a big hole where it used to say “Thou Shalt not Lie.” Any reference to greed has been snipped out. The Ten Commandments have taken a big hit. A little adultery now and then is fine. Vice President Mike Pence recently stood before the Southern Baptists and referenced the Republican version, which is pretty hard on immigrants.

The original Bible was pretty sympathetic to the poor and the sick. The Republican scissors took their toll once again, now the poor and the sick need to shape up, buy some health insurance, and get a job. The Jesus in the original Bible loved little children, but now snatching a few children from immigrants and imprisoning them in a Walmart that has been converted to a jail is just fine. The old Bible, just like the old tax code, was a problem for the Republicans.

The solution, cut out the inheritance tax and cut the top tax rate. While you have the scissors out cut up all those pesky EPA rules. The modern Christians say “Sometimes God chooses an evil man to do his work.” Give that evil man some scissors and his minions will make life even better for those who always have had it pretty good. Fortunately the Republicans have not messed with the part whereby all sins can be forgiven or at least pardoned.

Mike Quinn, Hazen

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