Try 3 months for $3

An online petition drive, if successful, would reduce the United States to 49 states. The missing state: Montana.

The Change.org petition was started last week and by early this week more than 7,000 people had signed the petition to sell Montana to Canada for $1 trillion in an effort to buy down the national debt. The text of the petition says “We have too much debt and Montana is useless,” adding to get Canada to buy, “Just tell them it has beavers or something.” Obviously, if Montana becomes a province it will have an impact on North Dakota.

There will be border checkpoints, you’ll need a passport and will have to change your currency. Montanans will have to learn a new form of English, eh?

Culture Trip notes some slang terms Big Sky residents will have to adopt.

Instead of a beanie, it’s a toque in Canada. A keener is someone who is eager show off their knowledge, in the U.S. we call them a brown-noser. When a Canadian asks for a “double double” they want coffee with two creams and two sugars; kerfuffle originated in Great Britain and refers to an argument or fight; cowtown is a term used by Edmonton residents in reference to the city of Calgary, Alberta; mickey refers to a flask of liquor; and loonies and toonies are what Canadians call one-dollar and two-dollar coins.

This could be a tough learning curve for some, eh?

Of course, Montanans will have to learn to drive on the right, or is it the other, side of the road. They also will have to brush up on Canadian history to pass the citizenship test.

Montana doesn’t have a British enough ring to it, so the new province will need a new name. The Great Falls Tribune in Montana asked when it heard about the petition drive, “Would Montana still be named Montana or would we be Southern Alberta? Better Saskatchewan?” and “Does the universal health care start right away or is there a waiting period?”

This will be a great opportunity for the former Montanans to hold a contest to name the new province. Meanwhile, when they drop the Montana moniker the U.S. can change South Dakota to New Montana, thus ending the confusion with North Dakota.

Canada may need to build a wall along the Montana border to keep more Americans from illegally crossing the border to reach the mountains. They will expect the U.S. to pay for the wall.

It’s possible Canada won’t believe Montana is worth the full $1 trillion and we might have to toss in another state. This could result in a kerfuffle between states to see who gets to go.

The Tribune Editorial Board favors the deal if it wipes out the national debt, but we doubt it will happen, eh?

Subscribe to Breaking News

* I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site constitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy.
9
5
3
0
1