Dates to remember
Feb. 21: General pesticide certification, New Salem
March 13: Fumigation certification, New Salem
March 19: General pesticide certification, Morton County Courthouse, Mandan
When couples say “I do” or decide to make a family, divorce or separation is not what most anticipate in their futures. Even so, the North Dakota Department of Health’s Vital Records Division indicates that during the past five years, North Dakota couples have averaged about 2,000 divorces a year. This number does not capture never-married couples who dissolve their relationships. Many of these separations or divorces include families with children.
Often the adults and the children in the family are at very different places in their journey with this family unit change. The adults may have been talking about divorce for months or years, waiting for a particular time to divorce or separate. The children may be completely unaware that the parents are planning to separate. Children, especially young children, accept that their life is “normal” because it is what they have come to expect. By the time parents break the news to their children, the adults may be accepting of the idea while the children are shocked by the news.
One way to think of family dynamics is to picture a baby’s mobile. When nothing is happening around the mobile, its pieces are hanging in balance. If we add another family member, such as an aging grandparent or a new baby, the mobile may go out of alignment for a while. Eventually, it will right itself again and perhaps hang a bit differently than originally. The illustration can be used when adding alcoholism, removing a job or moving to a different home. All of these transitions can upset the balance of a family’s life for a while. Getting research-based information and support can make these life transitions easier for everyone.
NDSU Extension, in cooperation with the University of Minnesota, offers “Parents Forever,” an education program for families in transition. This is available 24/7 as an online class, but is also offered as an in-person class in some areas of the state. Parents Forever covers three areas of help for families: taking care of yourself; taking care of your children; and being successful with co-parenting
All three areas are important for parents to learn about as they consider separation or divorce and the impact this transition will have on their children, no matter the child’s age.